In the spirit of bringing this country together, I'm going to do something that I never imagined doing in my lifetime. I'm going to vote for a Chicago White Sox fan to become the President of the United States, and I urge my fellow Cubs fans to do the same.
On the other hand, I'm not counting on that happening. This is an e-mail from reader DS. He writes:
I can't vote for Obama. His entire platform is designed to help Sox fans. His tax plan allows people to declare mullets as dependents. He is encouraging the freedom to choose a single or double-wide trailer, and strongly supports veterans, giving tax breaks to teams that carry 3 designated hitters making an average of 12 million per year. Plus, in his health care plan, he's specifically offering comprehensive dental coverage. He's even soft on immigration and won't go after certain Venezuelans, no matter how obscene their press conferences become. That's not change we can believe in.